This is not a post about arguing facts for or against homosexuality; this is a post about what how I now work with other men who continue to live with this "sin". I've noticed more and more that truth is what God has exposed you to in the moment where you are. Many people have different truths, and I've had different truths throughout my life, and through this, God is able to work through many people who are at various degrees of knowing Him and obeying Him. This is how it all works and how the way God's word moves through the spirit is so much bigger than your perception can conceive. This moment he may be using a murder to minister to a pedophile and both of them are going to heaven and you have no say whatsoever in God's decision, so take a deep breath and learn how I've learned to chose loving beyond judgement and embracing God's work in every life while coaching lgbtq+ christian men.
The Unveiling of Truth
In the Bible, the Lord says, "only God can bring people to the truth" (John 16:13), and I venture to say that's because none of us on the earth know the truth in its fullness. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). He gave us the truth, but still, that truth must be revealed in the hearts of men by the Holy Spirit. As a coach, I believe it's my role not to dictate this truth, but to help men explore their relationship with God, allowing Him to reveal that truth in their hearts.
A Church for the Broken
If I had a church, I would want a church filled with those society has labeled as outcasts—murderers, rapists, and criminals of all degrees. I want my church to showcase the power of the Lord to transform lives. I want to deliver people from the very places I used to be. I was a criminal, I attempted murder, I've been raped, and I've been close to raping others. I know what the darkest depths of the human soul feel like through heroin addiction. I also know what the deepest perversions on this earth entail, and I've partaken in all of them I can fathom. Through my coaching, I guide men to understand that, like me, they are loved by God through every phase, and while they might have broken His heart, He continues to send hope in various forms. "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8).
Choosing Love Over Judgment
Behind me, I had a family rooted in prayer and love, despite their disagreements with my lifestyle. Their prayers formed a foundation that allowed me to choose love over judgment. As a coach, I help men understand that while others may disagree with their choices, responding with love is the only way to move forward and stay connected to God. "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44).
Redemption Through Grace
I’m no longer gay, but my coaching is never about eliminating someone's gay identity, even through the act is regarded as sinful in most translations of the Bible and in my heart and convictions. Rather, it's about increasing their relationship with God. God redeemed me through this phase, and I'm not entirely sure why it happened to me and not to others who have prayed for many years. I know I prayed since I was 6 for God to take it from me. But what God ended up doing for me was much better. God, instead of taking my gay away, took my trauma away and helped me to see myself as He saw me. This is the journey I guide my clients through—not a path to eliminate who they are, but a path to see themselves through God's eyes. "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).
Letting Go and Letting God
The Lord says we have to let go and let God. In my coaching, I emphasize this truth—only by surrendering can we see true redemption from our struggles. I help men understand that trying to fight sin or forcing themselves to change is futile on their own. "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41). My role is to walk alongside them, guiding them to give their struggles to God and trust in His timing. "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). This approach has been my own story of redemption from addiction, and I use it to help others see that the power to change is not in fighting but in surrendering.
Loving Beyond Judgment
Should the homosexual lifestyle be shamed? Should someone feel guilty? Well, Christ Himself didn’t come to the earth to make people feel guilty or ashamed. "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" (John 3:17). As a coach, I guide men to understand that our mission isn’t to make others feel ashamed but to love them as Christ did. When we approach others with judgment, whether outwardly or inwardly, we hinder the love of God from flowing through us. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).
Leading by Example
God has called me to lead by example, not by judgment. This is what I teach in my coaching—leading with love and letting that love be the most magnetic thing about you. I read this groundbreaking book about how to become friends with people, and it was called "How to Win Friends and Influence People." In it, Dale Carnegie says that if we act interested in others and their beliefs and opinions, then we need not even try to fight for our own. Typically, when we reflect this type of unconditional positive regard of genuine interest to another person, without losing our own values and beliefs in the process, the other person will turn around and look at that experience and say, "By golly, I'd rather have whatever it is that person had... they didn't even have to prove themselves!"
Engaging Stories Over Judgment
What if the next time a gay person came up to you, instead of telling them where in the Bible it says that homosexuality is a sin, you started asking them solely about their walk in faith? What if you asked them questions about the times God has spoken to them and how they pray? This is the approach I use in my coaching—engaging with people's stories rather than judging them. It’s about seeing the amazing story God is writing in their lives and appreciating the journey they are on. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (John 13:34).
In my coaching, I emphasize that by treating people like this, they often end up walking like you—not because you forced them, but because they see the love and peace in your life and want that for themselves. The reason is that love is the most magnetic and beautiful thing you can yield, but the moment you start judging, you can't be acting in love, even if it's in your heart. So, I encourage you to instead look at each person like an engaging story. Get to know them, show support for them, act interested, and let them see Christ in you through your love.
About the Author
Mark. A Turnipseed
Wellness and life coach, author, entrepreneur, and lifelong researcher and practitioner in the fields of trauma, sports psychology, and spirituality.
His personal journey of overcoming childhood sexual abuse, sexual identity confusion, and addiction to ultimately find Christ fuels his mission and passion in this work.
Mark created the NViZN program to share the transformative strategies that helped him when triathlon saved him following suicide attempts, a journey detailed in his bestselling memoir, My Suicide Race.
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